Sara. Boston. 23. For a tough sport hockey sure makes me cry a lot.
Leaving it all on the table is bittersweet right now because yeah I now have the satisfaction of everything being said and confronted but its bitter when you get absolutely no response. I can’t promise myself he even read the last 2 texts I sent where I said everything I needed to. I don’t think theres anything worse than knowing someone you care so much about doesn’t give a fuck about you and theres nothing I can do to change that. I wasted 2 years on this asshole who has kept me around when it was convenient and made the effort when he had no one else around. I stuck around through him sending me through hell with playing around with how I feel. Not once did he confront he didn’t feel the same. There were times when he just didn’t respond to certain things or would ignore stupid texts here and there but it was never out right being a dick until recently when he met someone new. I’ve waited out him getting out of a3 year relationship, stuck around him being single and lonely, him talking to a girl on and off but it wasn’t serious, and now he’s all serious about a girl I know is leaving for school in a few weeks and it’s like, are you fucking serious with that attitude throwing it in my face that you have someone? you can go fuck yourself. You have absolutely no right to treat me like I’M the piece of shit. I feel good about having no regrets about saying what needed to be said but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel hollow and like I’ve let a fire burn out only to sit here and think what the fuck do I do with all these ashes now? I don’t feel invincible. I feel like I let someone tear me apart until I couldn’t take it anymore. Don’t ever give a thousand fucks for someone who cant’t even give one for you.
Burning bridges is bittersweet but it’s mostly bitter when you know that person doesn’t care.
I burned a bridge yesterday and yeah it felt damn good for a bit before this empty what do I do now feeling settled in but where do I even go from here
It’s so cute when you’re guy friend says maybe to hanging out and then doesn’t give you an answer so you make it as not optional as possible without kidnapping. But then he tells you maybe because the girl he’s talking to wants to hang out and you call him on the bullshit of him just hanging around waiting for her to ask then. And then he denies it but he would have just said he had other plans or lied if he didn’t want to hang out but no he decides to be a little fucking bitch because he’s met someone new.
I’ll take it